


In Another Life

by TheTomatoQueen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Angst, But the ending is kinda happy, Character Death, Emphasis on the angst though like holy cannoli, Fluff and Angst, Forgive me Oikawa, Kinda, M/M, Suicide, this is not happy you have been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTomatoQueen/pseuds/TheTomatoQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I was going to play professionally,” he said quietly, on the phone with the friend he hadn’t spoken to in years. “I was going to go to space.” </p><p>At twenty-five years of age, Oikawa Tooru had never dreamed he'd end up in the position he was in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Another Life

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the result of me wanting to write these poor, innocent babes in a very angsty situation. Forgive me ;-; Also I edited this rather quickly so if there are any mistakes let me know and I'll fix them!
> 
> Anywho, enjoy <3

It had never really occurred to Oikawa until recently that his entire life had slipped by in the blink of an eye. It didn’t hit him with sudden realization complete with a daunting sound effect, certainly not like it was in the movies. It was akin to the frog in the pot analogy. The temperature was turned up so slow and so gradually that, before he knew it and after it was too late to change, his life was set in stone.

Oikawa Tooru was twenty-five years old, had never lived outside of his hometown, was unmarried, and completely on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“I was going to play professionally,” he said quietly, on the phone with the friend he hadn’t spoken to in years. “I was going to go to space.” There was a pregnant pause and the sound of legs being rearranged on the other side of the telephone before a heaved sigh filtered through the receiver. 

“I know.” 

Oikawa bit his lip, a tuft of unkempt brown hair falling dejectedly into his red-rimmed eyes. 

“You know?” He asked, trying and failing to mask the bitter scoff on the ending word. “Of course you know. You were always the smart one, Iwa-chan~” Another pause.

“No, Oikawa, that was always you,” Iwaizumi Hajime said quietly from his apartment miles away in Tokyo. “How dumb of you to forget so soon. ….You’re drunk.”

“Ahhhh so you think the only way I would ever call you is if I was drunk? So rude, Iwa-chan! I’m hurt by your sugshes… sugtest… suggestion? I’m hurt,” he settled on eventually, swirling the liquid in the glass he held.

“You’re not denying it.”

“……”

“Oikawa… Look, this really isn’t a good time. I’ve got several meetings tomorrow and Kumiko-kun is insisting I take her out on a date. We really haven’t been spending time together which is my fault but-”

“I love you,” Oikawa interjected, not slurring any of his words. On the other end of the line, Iwaizumi drew the phone back from his ear, looked at it for a moment, and then replied.

“It’s natural for friends to love each other,” he explained tersely, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew what was coming. He’d felt the same feelings too, long ago. Back when the world was bright and open with every possible dream laid out for them on a golden platter. Oikawa shook his head, laughing resentfully.

“No. I’m in love with you. Iwa-chan~ I’m in love with you!” He yelled almost pleadingly into his cell phone. Iwaizumi winced and drummed his fingers on the table beside him, rationalizing how he should approach the situation. 

“I should go, Tooru. Like I said, I have meetings and…” The rest of Iwaizumi’s words were lost to Oikawa’s ears as a small trickle of tears began to spill onto his cheeks. He sat there quietly as the teardrops cascaded onto his lap and the greatest friend he’d ever known rambled on about meetings and girlfriends and nothing that should’ve ever come to be.

“Don’t you miss me?” Oikawa whispered timidly. Iwaizumi paused his excuses and cleared his throat.

“Come again? That was really quiet, Shittykawa, you’re going to have to speak up,” he snapped without any true menace. 

“I said don’t you miss me?” Oikawa clicked his tongue, jovial mood traded for something dark and festering. “Or have you forgotten that it’s been six years since we’ve seen each other, Hajime.” It was as if those words had cut a rope in Iwaizumi that had been holding him back. Suddenly the fuse of rage was ignited and he stood up in his tiny apartment, banging a fist down on the table and causing it to rattle.

“Don’t you DARE pull this on me, Oikawa. Don’t you act like it wasn’t you who cut the ties in this friendship first,” he seethed. “Practicing and practicing until you ended up so hurt that you couldn’t even attend college let alone play volleyball. And oh, I tried to stop you. Do you remember how long we’d gone without talking before you wound yourself up in the hospital? Six months! All because you were so goddamned focused on volleyball. So don’t fucking pretend that it was my fault because I lo-… I cared about you and you pushed me away! It was your fault you ended up laying in a hospital bed for half a year. And it is your fault we don’t talk.

"So don’t hate me for moving to Tokyo and doing something with my life just because you were too messed up to do anything with yours,” Iwaizumi finished in a considerably quieter tone than the one with which he had started. A tired little laugh rang out from the other end of the receiver, belonging to a man who was too worn down by the trivialities of life. There was silence for a long time, so long in fact that Iwaizumi thought the former setter had hung up.

“Oikawa?” 

Oikawa made a noise of recognition as he wiped the salty tears from his flushed cheeks. Another sip of the liquid and the glass was almost empty. He smirked at it, thinking about that famous “glass half empty of half full” metaphor. Well regardless of the metaphor, there was no doubt that his glass was of the half empty variety and so he set it down with a heavy thud. 

“I called to say that… No, no, stop! Iwa-chan please,” Oikawa begged, voice thick and wobbly with emotion, cutting Iwaizumi off as he began to protest. “Please listen to me just one last time. I called to say goodbye. I think out of all the things I’ve done wrong in life- and believe me there are quiet a few- it was what I did to you. Because the fact remains that I am madly in love with you, Hajime, and knowing that I ruined a chance at spending a future with you is something I’ll regret forever. I’m sorry I ruined my future and I’m sorry I couldn’t achieve my dreams… But I’m most sorry that I ruined us.” He paused as a sob threatened to choke him. “This is the last time you’ll ever talk to me but, hey, maybe we’ll meet again in another life. D-don’t forget me, okay?”

The line went dead and Iwaizumi was met with a dial tone.

It took him a moment to process Oikawa’s words and by the time that their meaning had sunk in, a deep nausea was sickeningly rooted in the pit of his stomach. With shaking hands, he grabbed a coat and ran out of his apartment, dialing 119 as fast as he could. 

“Yes, hello?! Please, you have to help me! My friend is going to commit suicide and I can’t get there in time to help him! Please, his address is…”

\----

The rental house was much smaller than Iwaizumi recalled. Then again he had only seen pictures of the inside, never once having visited Oikawa since he had moved to the ramshackle place. Once upon a time it had probably held the brightness and tenacity of his best friend but now it only held the lingering scent of antiseptic and loneliness.

Iwaizumi trailed a finger across Oikawa’s desk, taking in a shuddering breath before leaving his friend’s bedroom. The door closed behind him with a painful sense of finality and he made his way into the kitchen, looking everywhere but at the memories of a man he would never see again.

By the time the ambulance had shown up at the house two nights prior, Oikawa was already unconscious and likely had been for a while. When the medical staff found him, the brunet was in the bathtub with his wrists slit open and the water stained a murky red. They’d bandaged him up and rushed him to the emergency room but everyone on the team knew that it was futile. He’d already lost too much blood. Oikawa Tooru was pronounced dead at 1:48 AM on Monday May 4, 2015. 

When Iwaizumi finally arrived in his hometown and was delivered the news, a sob escaped his throat that sounded like the dying vestiges of a heartbroken man. The days following had been rough. He’d stayed and helped sort through Oikawa’s belongings at the small house and provided moral support to the people he had once called his own family once upon a time. That day they had been cleaning out Oikawa’s bedroom, the last place in the house that hadn’t been sorted through. 

As Iwaizumi walked into the kitchen to pour himself a drink, he noticed a small scrap of paper underneath an empty bottle of sake. Curious, he gingerly took the paper and unfolded it revealing a yellowed and crumpled note that was dated September 12, 1998. At the top of the paper were two crudely drawn stick figures, one with wavy brown hair and the other with ungodly black spikes. The likeness made Iwaizumi laugh as his tear-damp eyes travelled downwards to read what was written.

_This is my best friend Iwa-chan. He’s strong and pretty and so cooooool~ At first I thought he was an alien because of his spiky hair but he told me he wasn’t which made me sad. (I still sorta think he is though, but shhhHHHH don’t tell him!!). We like to play volleyball together! We’re not very good yet but some day we’re gonna be the bestest there ever was and play on a national court!!! And someday I’m gonna marry Iwa-chan because I love him. He doesn’t know this yet but I don’t think he’d say no. He’d get grumpy and frowny like he always does but he’d eventually say yes. There’s no way we’d ever not be in each other’s lives!! In fact I think our bond is so strong that even after we die we’ll meet again in another life! And that’s why I love my best friend, Iwa-chan~_

At the bottom of the paper in drunkenly sloppy handwriting was written:

 _I wrote this when I was eight and I still mean every word of it. Yours forever, Tooru_

Iwaizumi broke into gut wrenching sobs for the second time that day, clutching the paper to his heart as if to fill the void that Oikawa had left.

\----

The funeral was held three days later. It wasn’t a stereotypical day for the ceremony, no rain or dark clouds. The sun was shining bright on the newly budded flowers and everyone thought it was very befitting for Oikawa. After all, he always was wearing a smile for the sake of everyone else even on his darkest days.

No one saw Iwaizumi during the funeral and many people thought he hadn’t even come, too struck by grief to attend. There was only one object of proof to insist that he had even been there at all: a small fluttering piece of paper weighed down by a rock atop the grave stone of the man who would soon be forgotten by the world.

At the top of the page was written the date, May 7, 2015, and two crudely drawn stick figures. One of them had wavy brown hair and the other had ungodly black spikes. Below the drawing was a letter.

_This is my best friend, Oikawa Tooru. He’s frustrating and irritating and I love him more than life itself. The world was smiling on humanity when it created Oikawa. At first I hated him because he insisted I was an alien. Gradually I came to call him my best friend, my family, and finally the man I was in love with. Life didn’t turn out how I expected it too. I expected to have a job and two kids and be living with him. But… I’m standing here and Oikawa is six feet below me. What a sick twist of fate. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him. I’m sorry we grew apart. I’m sorry, Tooru. I’ll see you in another life. Yours forever, Iwa-chan_

Iwaizumi’s obituary was released in the papers a week later.

\----

The whir of the hover board against the magnetic streets resonated in the boy’s ear as he sped through the back streets of the city. It was the weekend and he had nowhere to be so he’d snatched the hover board he’d saved up for months to buy, bid his mother farewell, and set out on an adventure. The sun beat down against the back of his neck, reflected off of the silver metal buildings that rose up all around him. 

As he rounded a corner sharply he was immediately thrown back, ears met with the yelp of another person falling off their own hover board. The boy hit the pavement with a smack, groaning as his elbow began to sting. He glanced up, golden eyes narrowed and mouth ready to spit fire but he stopped abruptly when he took in the sight of the brunet in disarray before him. Something about this boy stirred a memory deep within him and he pressed a hand to his heart. 

“…Do I know you?” He asked, tone snappy. The brunet blinked and looked up, caramel eyes wide and dazed. 

“I was wondering the same thing myself… I’ve never seen you but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life!” He trilled before extending a hand with a sunny smile. “I’m Takehiko~”

The boy with the golden eyes and spiky black hair accepted the handshake with his eyebrows furrowed but a grin playing on his lips. 

“Masaki.” Takehiko grinned brightly as he picked up his hover board and ran a hand through his wavy brown hair.

“Masaki, huh? I don’t like that. I think I’m gonna call you Masa-chan! Has anyone ever told you that you look like an alien?” Takehiko fired the words at lightning speed, leaving poor Masaki stunned. Once he processed the alien comment, his anger flared to life as his jaw flopped open in indignation.

“Hey! I’d watch who you were calling an alien if I were you, Shitty-hiko. And my name’s not Masa-chan,” he huffed, eyebrows drawn together in irritation. Takehiko simply giggled, one slender hand raised to his lips as he looped an arm through Maskaki’s and began walking with him.

“You know, Masa-chan. I think this is going to be the start of a very beautiful relationship~”


End file.
